Husband, Companion, Level 85 ShamanPosted: January 26, 2011
The above poll just popped up in my news feed, and I thought it was worth meriting a little more thought than a simple “I AGREE WIF HUSBAND”. The website this post comes from is pretty crazy in general, but this one hits close to home for me and my gamer friends.
In any relationship, interaction and “together time” is essential. You can’t neglect those things and expect to be with someone very long. In the attached poll, we have a “neglected” wife and her gamer husband.
Per the wife, the husband works 40 hours a week and spends a few hours a night in his games. Not the most productive use of time, but I digress.
This whole post has the undertone that their relationship is being neglected, back-seated by his game. Despite the fact she mentions the he spends time with her on the weekend, goes out together with friends, etc. she feels he is setting her to the side and acting adolescent.
Nothing in her post strikes me as even remotely off-mark. Even if this wasn’t World of Warcraft (a massive timesink if there ever was one), he’s giving a few hours of his night each night to a hobby that he enjoys. Some husbands have sports games. Some have their garage. Some have TV shows. Some have naps. He chooses to play games in his spare time.
She mentions she considers anything in excess of 1 hour is excessive. Really? 1 hour? What can someone even reasonably accomplish in a game or otherwise in 1 hour? Can you really expect the wife to put similar limitations on her own hobbies? She can only scrapbook for 1 hour. Can only watch her TV shows for 1 hour. Can only talk to friends for 1 hour. Can only shop for 1 hour. Can only get her nails / hair done for 1 hour. Excess of that is a waste of her time and her relationship’s time, goddammit!
Then she mentions that gaming is too “high school” for someone his age as if she doesn’t have hobbies that are shared across wide demographics. If we were limited to things specifically targeted to people “our age”, well, I hope you don’t like Pixar movies or amusement parks or a host of things that are fun no matter your age. That, and the fact gaming’s chief demographic is 18-34 (probably in his age range). And you better believe that range goes up when you start talking MMOs and subscription models come into the fray. Her reasoning is very dubious.
If the husband were neglecting her, the relationship, or other necessary things then I’d agree there is an issue. Games don’t take priority to real life. But attempting to control someone’s hobbies because they are “unworthy” or “unfitting” in your eyes is a very selfish thing indeed.
Remember folks: just because you can’t see yourself doing it doesn’t make it wrong.
If you’d like to give your two cents to this poll, do it.